Tuesday, June 13, 2017

How One of My Biggest Failures Taught Me to Fail Forward





I’m going to share with you one of the biggest failures I’ve ever experienced in my life. Though it’s been a few years, I’m still very embarrassed when I share this experience. I’m also anxious that people may think this failure is trivial. But this is just a situation, a few circumstances, when life did not work out the way I wanted to.

Well, here it goes.

One of my biggest failures in my life is:
I tried out for the University of Washington Cheer Team 3 times, made it to finals every year, and never made the team.

Yes. I’m one of those girls who never made the cheer team. So let me tell you how and why I tried out every year and how it taught me how to fail forward.

Freshman Year: 
I did gymnastics, track, and cross country all through high school so I didn’t have time to pick up a new sport. So when I graduated from high school, I was determined to learn how to cheer and dance.

I saw that there were cheer tryouts my freshman year of college and that the team was hosting open gyms. Even though I was incredibly nervous and scared, I decided to go.

I shared with the girls at open gym that I had a background in gymnastics. I could do a standing stuck and a round off back handspring back tuck. But I didn’t know how to stunt or cheer dance. So I learned how to partner stunt a week and half before tryouts. I learned and struggled through the dance routine. And I tried out, made it to finals, and did not make the team.

My feedback: Learn how to partner stunt – I accepted this feedback because I had learned how to partner stunt just a week and half before tryouts. So I made it a goal that year to learn how to partner stunt.


Sophomore Year: 
I came back so much more confident in tryouts my sophomore year. I had continue to partner stunt with the team and open gyms around the area. I went from barely standing in hands and extension to learning how to do a full up, cupie, arabesque, and stretch. I even learned more daring stunts like a rewind and a hand stand to hands. I tried out, made it to finals, and still didn’t make the team. I was disheartened and disappointed…

My feedback: Learn how to dance – I had partner stunting and tumbling locked down. But the team said I was too stiff when dancing. So I made it a goal that year to become a better dancer. I took hip hop classes, ballet, and even Pilates for strengthening the following year.


Junior Year
I was on the edge of trying out… I had worked on dancing all year and I just wasn’t sure if I should do it or not. My friend Jean encouraged me to just give it one last shot. He said I had nothing to lose and I deserved to be on the team. So I tried out again…made it to finals… and was cut from the team.

My feedback: I was too old. I would only have one more year to cheer with the team.

Trying out for the cheer team and not making it is one of my biggest failures because of the effort I put towards this goal. I had to physically and mentally prepare each year for try outs, put myself out there, and learn how to handle rejection. This 4 year experience also taught me how to fail forward.

Here are 4 tips to fail forward:

1. Develop a growth mindset
If you’re trying a new hobby or skill, remind yourself that you’re learning how to perform or master that skill. You may not be an expert today, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be an expert tomorrow. I encourage you to practice and embrace a growth mindset.
Here are a few more tips in embracing a growth mindset.

From my story, I knew I couldn't master partner stunting or dancing over night. But I knew I could become better the more I practiced and became comfortable in these two spaces. I can't count the number of times I failed learning how to stunt... but I can remember how I felt after accomplishing some of my favorite stunts. I still remember nailing a stretch to stretch for the first time or learning a full down.

2. Reflect & Accept
Each time I was cut from the team, I took the time to reflect and accept what had happened. It was painful to accept that my skills, experiences, were either not up to par or that I just wasn’t what the team was looking for.

But the experience brought me to reflect on what I had been through. I grew so much in three years; learned a new sport, new skills, and gained some great friends along the way. Here are a few more reasons why you should take the time to reflect.

3. Maintain a Positive Attitude
It’s easy to surrender to resentment, bitterness, or even hatred. I had to remind myself that it was the circumstance and situation that didn’t work out in my favor. I had to remind myself to continue to stay positive because there are so many other ways I can choose to spend my time.

Because I chose to stay positive, I continued to learn new skills and also stay in shape. I was worried I was going to lose my tumbling abilities in college. But trying out for cheer allowed me to stay flexible and continue to tumble.

If you are looking for some ways to maintain a positive attitude, read this.

4. Ask Yourself: What’s next? How do I spend my time instead?
One of the reasons why I wanted to be on the cheer team was because I wanted to feel more a part of my school. I wanted a chance to lead the student body on the field with football cheers and dances. I wanted to be in a position to represent my school.

Since I didn’t make the team, I sought out to get involved with UW in other ways. I joined UW Leaders, volunteered for one of the ASUW political campaigns, ran TEDxUofW, and the Victoria’s Secret PINK team.

If I couldn’t lead my school on the field, I ensured I led the student body to new ideas with TEDx and yoga parties with Victoria’s Secret PINK. I look back and wouldn’t trade my experiences for the world. I realized that everything works out the way it needs to work out. 

This videos is from a few years ago, but here's how I used to spend some of my Friday nights :)
Thank you again to my friend Jean who was my main partner for partner stunting all through college!
video


When have you failed in life? And what did you learn from it? How have you learned how to fail forward?


Shop My Look:



Thank you for reading!

Love,
Emma

This post was made in collaboration with American Eagle Outfitters.
Photos: Holly Phan

5 comments :

  1. What I love about this story is that everything you did is only going to benefit you into the future and (hopefully) you enjoyed the process. I love the tips in this post - it's so true that everything works out the way it is meant to be.
    Michelle @ The Unfinished Bookshelf

    ReplyDelete
  2. Your dedication is so inspiring! Thanks for sharing this story. It really resonates :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved this story as well, sorry you did not make it but sounds like you used it as a learning exp and everything works out how its supposed to , you look gorgeous in that ouffit!1

    Valerie
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your insights both in hindsight and how to move forward are so lovely to read. I love coming back to your blog every week because of your positive attitude. Many people would've stopped after tryout #1, but your attitude and constant drive to want to learn and improve on yourself - for YOURSELF - is incredibly inspiring.

    xo,
    katrina
    thedemuremuse.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love how you maintain a positive attitude, and keep trying every time. It's so important that we accept failure, and learn from it.

    ReplyDelete